Plight Deepens for Black Men: A Review of the Infamous NY Times Article

I am sure most, if not all of you have read the NY Times article that spread like wildfire across the country last week. The article, titled "Plight Deepens for Black Men, Studies Warn," paints a dire and desperate picture of the state of the black man in America. The statistics referenced in the article are not only shocking, but are extremely disheartening and hurtful. Here are some examples:

• More than half of all black men in the inner city do not finish high school.
• In 2004, 72% of black male high school dropouts in their 20's were jobless -- which includes those unable to find work, not seeking it or incarcerated.
• About half of all black men in their late 20's and early 30's who did not go to college are noncustodial fathers.
• Among black dropouts in their late 20's, more are in prison on a given day -- 34% -- than are working -- 30% (based on a 2000 census study).

The article, along with scholars who studied the phenomenon, attribute these staggering statistics to "terrible schools, absent parents, racism, the decline in blue collar jobs and a subculture that glorifies swagger over work." There are a myriad of different conversations to be held on this topic, but I think the breakdown of the black family is at the forefront of these issues.

As the article states, the crack epidemic of the 80's led to a steep climb in the incarceration of black men. Consequently, the sons of those incarcerated (along with the sons of those who were addicted to crack) were left fatherless. Inevitably, those boys have grown into men, without the benefit of having had a father, or some other positive black male role model around, to SHOW them how to be men. And herein starts the cycle of desperation and despair that will continue to infect our families if we don't change something.

Additionally, the article cites stricter enforcement of child support laws as a "special factor" that contributes to this "deepening plight" of the black man. "Improved collection of money from absent fathers has been a pillar of welfare overhaul. But the system can leave young men feeling overwhelmed with debt and deter them from seeking legal work, since a large share of any earnings could be seized." The article goes on to say that child support obligations "amount to a tax on earnings" to these black fathers. This mindset evidences the problems that arise when fathers are absent in the lives of their sons. Boys who grow up without fathers will more than likely grow into men who shun their parental responsibilities.

So where does the cycle start, and where does it end? Ideally, of course, black men would take care of, and serve as role models to their sons -- positively impacting their sons' lives by teaching them what it takes to be a man. However, reality is where the old African proverb -- "It takes a village to raise a child" -- comes into play. It is incumbent upon the black men who have overcome the odds to serve as role models to the throngs of young black men growing up fatherless. It just takes one person to positively impact a young man's life, and to show him another way of life.

Too many times, black men "make it" and don't look back. They take care of their families and pursue their careers, but they don't reach back into their old neighborhoods to serve as role models. THIS HAS TO CHANGE before there will be any hope for our young black men to overcome the odds facing them, and before they can learn how to be men. The cycle must be broken. And sadly, because we cannot rely upon the absent fathers of these young black men to break the cycle, successful black men (successful in the sense of "overcoming," not just financial) must step in to serve as role models.

If you haven't read the article, click here to read it: http://www.nytimes.com/2006/03/20/national/20blackmen.html

--Notta

Who's Your Daddy?

This post is fairly simple and straightforward in that it consists only of a story and a lesson. The title probably makes you think this entry is about father-less children, but it is not. Please read on...

I was in Chicago most of last week for a conference. My last night in town, which happened to be St. Patrick's Day, some friends and I went to the Funky Buddha to hang out. Directly across the street from the Funky Buddha is an Irish bar. (I'm sure you can tell where this is going by now.) As my girl Renee, one of her old co-workers Ben, and I made our way past the Irish bar as we walked to Ben's car, a group of white people walked out of the Irish bar. As we walked through this group of white people, one of the drunk white guys says to me, in a very nasty and condescending tone, "Are you a mulatto -- Who's your daddy?" As if to imply that he had just finished raping my black mother. Ben immediately turned around and asked, "What the hell did you just say?" I immediately turned around and asked, "What did you say to me?" One of the white women in their group (who clearly had issues with this guy already) points to him and literally screams "You're a disgrace!!" (Although it wasn't quite clear whether she was referring to his inappropriate comments or something that happened earlier.) The guy back peddles a little at that point and says we just walked into the middle of a bad situation. Ben then encouraged us to move on as that situation was not going to get any better.

Okay, seriously, who says that to someone? The three of us, still stunned by the comments, went to breakfast and had a good laugh about it. However, it's really not funny at all, and is in fact very sad. It's 2006. Yes, 2006, and white folks still think it is okay to make comments like that to black folks.

Quick history lesson courtesy of Ben. The origin of the word "mulatto" is from the Spanish and Portuguese word "mula," which means "mule." And as Ben pointed out, a mule is a cross between a donkey and a horse. The fact that white folks (not all, I know there are exceptions) think it is okay to refer to me as a mulatto, and then ask who's my daddy, is a problem.

So that's the story. The lesson is this: Don't sleep. Racism is alive and well. Many white folks may be able to mask their racism most of the time, but trust that it is embedded in the back of their heads, and only takes some liquor to bring it out.

--Notta

Black Folks and the Oscars

During the week after Three 6 Mafia's history making Best Original Song Oscar win for "It's Hard Out There For A Pimp," I spoke to several people who took issue with Hollywood's acceptance and acknowledgment of that song -- which they felt glorified pimp life -- as Oscar-worthy. Those conversations led to conversations about how Hollywood has acknowledged (or failed to acknowledge) African-Americans in the movie industry in the past.

Many black folks nationwide, not just my friends, expressed embarrassment, anger, surprise, and a whole litany of other sentiments over Hollywood's "limited" acceptance of African-Americans. "Limited" in the sense that they believe that Hollywood only acknowledges the work of black folks when they play crooked cops (Denzel in Training Day), sex-craved widows who sleep with the white men who pulled the trigger on their husband's electric chair (Halle in Monster's Ball), and chauffeurs to old, cranky white ladies (Morgan in Driving Miss Daisy). However, I had to disagree with many of those comments, simply because black folks have won Oscars for good roles also (i.e., Sidney Poitier in Lilies of the Field; Louis Gossett, Jr. in An Officer and a Gentleman; and Jamie Foxx in Ray).

Although I completely understand where these folks are coming from, I have to caution us from being SOOOOOO critical of the Oscars. We have to keep in mind that not all white folks who have won Oscars were playing the good guy-type roles. (Consider Sean Penn in Mystic River [where he played a thug], and Charlize Theron in Monster [where she played a serial killer]). So we can't expect that all black folks who win Oscars are going to be playing "desirable" roles. I think we have to take it for what it is, which is another honor for a black actor (or black songwriter), and another barrier broken. However, I will agree that black actors are not given opportunities to perform in Oscar winning-type roles; which of course contributes to the low numbers of African-American Oscar winners. (Let's be real, we know we're not winning any Oscars for Soul Plane or Booty Call!!!)

I included the list of African-American Oscar winners below for your reference. As for Three 6 Mafia, I agree, it probably is hard out there for a pimp. It's hard out there for all of us. I could write a song about how hard it is out there for a lawyer, but it probably wouldn't get much air play, let alone an Oscar nod. So I salute Three 6 Mafia for writing the first rap song to break the Oscar barrier.

--Notta

African-American Oscar Winners:

• Hattie McDaniel, Best Actress in a Supporting Role for Gone With the Wind (1939).
• James Baskett, Honorary Award "for his able and heart-warming characterization of Uncle Remus, friend and story teller to the children of the world in Walt Disney's Song of the South" (1946). [awarded at the 1948 Academy Awards Ceremony]
• Sidney Poitier, Best Actor in a Leading Role for Lilies of the Field (1963).
• Isaac Hayes, Best Music, Original Song for "Theme from Shaft" from Shaft (1971).
• Louis Gossett, Jr., Best Actor in a Supporting Role for An Officer and a Gentleman (1982).
• Irene Cara, Best Music, Original Song for "Flashdance...What a Feeling" from Flashdance (1983).
• Prince, Best Music, Original Song Score for Purple Rain (1984).
• Stevie Wonder, Best Music, Original Song for "I Just Called to Say I Loved You" from The Woman in Red (1984).
• Lionel Richie, Best Music, Original Song for "Say You, Say Me" from White Nights (1985).
• Herbie Hancock, Best Music, Original Score for 'Round Midnight (1986).
• Denzel Washington, Best Actor in a Supporting Role for Glory (1989).
• Whoopi Goldberg, Best Actress in a Supporting Role for Ghost (1990).
• Cuba Gooding, Jr., Best Actor in a Supporting Role for Jerry Maguire (1996).
• Halle Berry, Best Actress in a Leading Role for Monster's Ball (2001).
• Denzel Washington, Best Actor in a Leading Role for Training Day (2001).
• Sidney Poitier, Honorary Lifetime Achievement Award "for his extraordinary performances and unique presence on the screen and for representing the industry with dignity, style and intelligence." [awarded at the 2001 Academy Awards Ceremony]
• Jamie Foxx, Best Actor in a Leading Role for Ray (2004).
• Morgan Freeman, Best Actor in a Supporting Role for Million Dollar Baby (2004)

Religion and Politics -- Appropriate Bedfellows?

During presidential election season, how often do we see the white candidates, both Democrat and Republican, parading themselves at black churches, spouting off about how the issues that are important to African-Americans are important to them? After election season, do we see the candidates (victors or losers) at the black churches anymore? The answer to this question is two-fold. No, the candidates no longer have a physical presence in the churches. However, their presence is still alive and well in the churches, by way of the pastors.

Historically, the African-American church has been the central institution in the African-American community. In days past, they were the gathering places not only for worship, but also to address the economic, social, and political impact of a racist and segregated society on African-Americans. Yes, political. Black churches and their pastors have historically served as champions in the fight for equality for African-Americans, and against the oppression we have endured from the white community.

So why, you're probably thinking, does the title of this entry suggest that the marriage between politics and religion is inappropriate? I think this relationship becomes troublesome when pastors start using politics as a way of advancing their own beliefs, rather than advancing the needs of the black community at large. As leaders of the black church, black ministers have a massive amount of access and visibility among the black community. Politicians know this, and that is why they attempt to use the pastors to get the black vote.

This practice is so much more evident now because of the increasing support that black ministers are giving to Republicans. (Note -- I said "increasing" support -- which means I recognize that not all black pastors conduct themselves in this fashion.) For me, this really became evident during the 2004 presidential election, during which the Republicans used gay marriage as their platform (and only platform, I might add) to attract the black vote. They know that black folks are some of the most homophobic people in this country, and played on that by getting black pastors to support them solely for that reason.

So is it okay for Republicans to line the pockets of our black pastors with a little money, in exchange for their support (and indirectly, the support of their congregations)? As a sidebar -- I hope you don't think black pastors provide this support for free. I have personally seen some very high-profile and prominent Indiana elected officials (both on a state and local level) "give" money to a group of black pastors; in exchange for the group's support of Republican initiatives.

Personally, I think this sort of behavior is completely inappropriate. As leaders of our communities, I think black pastors have a duty to conduct themselves in a way that best serves the black community at large. This does not include using one issue -- gay marriage -- as their platform to support Republicans; while ignoring the issues that really affect the black community, such as unemployment, lack of healthcare, and a failing public education system.

I know this post will offend many religious black folks, so I am prepared to deal with it, and look forward to your comments. However, I think it is an atrocity for some black pastors to use their power in a way that ultimately defeats the individual struggles of members of their own congregations; and I think it is time that they are held accountable for that.

--Notta

Do I Look Like A Dog???

Ladies, have you ever seen a cute guy -- either from across the room, or walking down the street -- the two of you make eye contact, you start thinking about the possibilities, and then he pulls one of those, "eh, let me talk to you for a minute" (while giving you the finger motion to come here), or worse, the head nod that is supposed to be your signal to approach him?

This happened to me the other day. I was walking down the street with two friends and a guy stepped out of his souped-up Escalade and did the whole "come here for a minute"-thing. I don't get it. Was I supposed to be impressed with his truck and want to come talk to him? As my friends and I discussed, it probably wasn't even his truck!!! But I digress -- maybe some hoodrat would've been impressed and responded to his inappropriate gesture; but again, any woman who is about something wouldn't respond to that.

Now I know there are many men who know better than to pull some mess like that. But for those who don't know any better, let me take this opportunity to "learn" you on some thangs.

First of all, I know your mommas taught you better than to act like that. It is not only rude, but also disrespectful to motion for or call out for a woman like she is a dog. Last time I checked, I didn't have four legs or a tail, so act like you have some home training.

Second of all, any woman who has some self-respect about her is not going to respond to that mess!!! Sure, if all you want is some hoodrat or chick with low self-esteem, then that's definitely the way to go about deciphering those women from those of us who respect ourselves. However, if you're really trying to find a quality woman, you may want to lose that wack-a@@ rap, and step up your game a bit.

But ladies, don't think you're off the hook. As I said a few weeks ago, men only do what you allow them to do. Obviously, some of you are falling for that crap. Here's the thing, STOP FALLING FOR THAT CRAP, and men will stop doing it.

Hey, maybe it's just me. Perhaps other women like to be treated like dogs. Either way, I feel like I need to walk around with a sign on my forehead saying I don't respond to head nods or finger curls.

--Notta

Do Snitches Really Get Stitches?

"[I]t's not in [Yayo's] character to speak to the authorities." -- Tony Yayo's attorney speaking in response to questions about his client's knowledge relating to the killing of Busta Rhymes' security guard outside of Busta's video shoot.

For years, the saying "Snitches Get Stitches" has been used as a way of enforcing/confirming (however you want to look at it) the fact that black folks generally don't report crimes that occur in our neighborhoods. Historically, when crimes are committed in our neighborhoods, we turn our heads and act like we didn't see anything. Why is that? Is it because we are afraid of retaliation? Or is it because we just don't like the police? Either way, I think it's a topic that needs to be addressed. In this case, is silence really golden, or is honesty the best policy?

I can only imagine how the family of a murder victim feels knowing that there are people out there who know what happened to their family member, but who refuse to come forward with that information. If it were me, of course I would want to know everything about the murder, and would want the persons responsible prosecuted. But if the shoe was on the other foot, and I had bore witness to a murder, I can't say for sure that I would be willing to come forward with that information.

What responsibility, if any, do we have to each other to report the crimes that we witness, be they major or minor? Of course it's easy for those of us who no longer live on the block to say that those who do should report the various drug deals, gang activity, and whatever other crimes plague the neighborhood. We don't have to live around and see these people everyday. But by not reporting even the most minor crimes, I think we jeopardize our ability to complain about the status of our neighborhoods. We have to take it upon ourselves to be responsible for the things that occur in our neighborhoods. And we have to stop hiding behind fear and the police to do so.

Just my two cents.

--Notta

Brothas, Just Because You Can, Doesn't Mean You Should -- Part II of II on Black Relationships

I LOVE BLACK MEN!!!! I think you are the sexiest men on earth. From a historical standpoint, black men (with black women by their side) have endured slavery, beatings and segregation, and continue to endure the prejudicial attitudes and behaviors of this country. Yet, you continue to better yourselves and continue to demonstrate to the rest of the world that black men can do anything that men of other races can do, and even better. Physically, I love black men's chocolate smooth skin, full lips, and that natural "swagger" that you all have about yourselves. (You know what I'm talking about!) :)

However, it seems that you, my brothas, have taken for granted the appreciation that black women have for you. This is evidenced by the number of you married brothas who constantly and consistently try to get me to participate in your adulterous behavior. This is also evidenced by the behavior of many of those "available professional black men" I referenced in last week's entry. (Yes, emphasis on professional.) The men who fall into that category of "available professional black men" know that they are limited in quantity, which consequently, makes them a hot commodity. And as I stated last week, black women realize that black men are hard to come by, and for the sake of having/keeping a man, they allow themselves to be treated poorly.

But my brothas, it is time that you all stand up and be accountable for your behavior. Here's a newsflash for you: JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN DO SOMETHING, DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD DO IT! Just because a woman may be willing to forgive your indiscretions, does not give you a rite of passage to cheat. On the flipside, if you are married and a woman throws herself at you, act like you have some sense and stop acting like your bodily urges are just too much for you to control. If you come across a sista with self-esteem problems, either leave her alone or try to get her some help. But please stop taking advantage of and playing on her insecurities.

Undoubtedly, someone will respond to this and say that black women encounter these problems because we only want to date the tall, good looking, athletically fit brothas. (As someone did last week.) And back in the day, I may have agreed with that statement; however, that theory has no applicability in black relationships today. I know quite a few women who have been played by that unsuspecting brotha. (You know, the one who is a little overweight, or the one who is not the best looking, or the one who doesn't make a lot of money.)

My brothas, I need to you to honor your sistas. I need you to stop mistreating and disrepecting black women. Black women have been and continue to be the backbone of the black family. Honor us, love us, treat us like the queens that we are. Stop the cheating, stop the controlling behavior, and stop disrespecting. How would you feel if a man treated your mother, your sister, or your daughter, the way that you treat us?

--Notta

Girlfriend, He Doesn't Care About You!!!!! -- Part I of II on Black Relationships

My sista, my girlfriend, my ace boom, I just have to say it, he does not care about you!!!! So stop throwing yourself at him, stop thinking you can change what you deem "his bad habits," and for goodness sake -- please stop trying to use sex to control him.

I apologize in advance for this lengthy entry, but there is much to say about this subject. This is Part I of a two-part series in which I address black relationships. Yes, these words are applicable to the masses of women -- regardless of race or nationality -- but again, I'm addressing my sistas (all sistas, even the groupies and golddiggers). However, my brothas, please don't think that you are off the hook. Part II will address the behavior of black men in the dating game. But for now, I'm focusing on my girls.

Black women are beautiful, intelligent, regal, and inspiring creatures. From the days that our ancestors were pickin' cotton in the cotton fields, we have held down our households by serving as the backbone of our families, and carrying ourselves with both dignity and grace. We take care of our business by pursuing our careers and raising our children at the same time (many times without the assistance of a man).

So why is it that so many of us sell ourselves short by "entertaining" men who do not have our best interests at heart? Don't get me wrong, I'm not talking "at" you all, I'm talking "with" you, because I have been there too. We've all been there. The question is: at what point do you start to value yourself, and realize that you deserve better?

I used to live in Washington D.C., a.k.a. "Chocolate City," where professional black people abound. Women who have never lived in D.C. always have the impression that because there are so many professional black men there, the dating options are endless. However, just the opposite is true. Sure D.C. has a much bigger selection of professional black men than most cities, but it also has a much much bigger selection of professional black women. I always give people this scenario: you start off with a pool of professional black men -- take away those who are married, those who are gay, and those who don't date sistas, and you are left with an even smaller pool of "available" professional black men. (Yes, emphasis on "available.") Contrast that with the plethora of available professional black women (which is evidenced by the huge numbers of sistas in college compared to brothas), and you're left with a large discrepancy in numbers. Because of this shortage in available professional black men, too many of us "settle" for men who are bad for us just to be able to say we have a man. Yet, that same man is out with LaToya, LaTonya, LaKeisha, and everybody else and their mama -- when he should be at home with his woman.

But tsk, tsk ladies. NEWSFLASH -- a man will only do what you allow him to do. Stop letting him treat you like you are disposable. You not only de-value yourself by doing that, but you make it hard on those of us who choose to be alone rather than deal with unnecessary drama from a man. Because you allow him to cheat on you, sleep with you and then go home to wifey, and generally disrespect you -- and then let him back in your heart and your bed, you diminish yourself and diminish the value of black women in general. Why would a man put up with a strong woman with values and standards, when he knows with you he can do as he pleases and still come home? STOP IT! Stop doing it to yourself, and stop doing it to the rest of us. I'm sick of hearing you complain about how your man doesn't treat you right, yet that fool is always up in your bed. Just stop it, he doesn't care about you, and you know it.

Black women, we need to take back our power and strength. We have to learn how to value ourselves again. We have to be able to recognize men who are bad for us, and leave them alone. We cannot continue to diminish our value by settling for men who constantly break our spirits and minds. We have to recognize when a man does not care about us, and choose to leave him alone. The longer we continue to accept lying, cheating, and disrespectful men in our beds, the longer we continue to de-value the honor and grace with which black women have guided their families throughout time.

--Notta

"Conversate" Is Not A Word

"Conversate for a few, cause in a few, we gon' do what we came to do, ain't that right boo (truuuueee)." -- Notorious B.I.G., Lyrics to "Big Poppa"

Conversate. Is that a word? Has the dictionary been updated to include "conversate" as a word? The last time I checked (which was about 5 minutes ago), "conversate" was not in the dictionary. So why do we (black folks, that is) continuously use "conversate" in our daily conversations? Is it because we hear rappers use it in their lyrics? Or is it rooted in something deeper that relates back to the years of oppression we faced? Either way, I wish black folks would stop using that word. Yes, black folks. This isn't about white people, or Asians, or Latinos. This is about black folks (just scroll back up to the top of the page and check). So I don't want to hear that white folks use "conversate" also. And as a matter of fact, I can't recall ever hearing a white person say "conversate," but perhaps I'm just not hanging around the right white folks.

Now I'm sure that some folks will be offended by this entry, but they are probably the very same people that like to throw out "conversate" when they are trying to sound intelligent. Someone has already gotten upset and hung up on me when I told him this was the subject of my next entry. Of course, he has used "conversate" in a previous conversation with me. Is it just me? No, it can't be just me. Don't people sound ignorant when they say things like, "Yeah girl, you know I like to 'conversate' about world issues," or "I enjoyed 'conversating' with you?" No, you enjoyed "conversing" with me. I always feel compelled to correct them. Like I'm the friggin' word police or something. But dammit, it's frustrating to hear black folks sound ignorant.

Originally, this entry was going to focus on what seems to be black folks' perpetual problems with grammar, but I figured that a discussion about the use of "conversate" is deserving of its own entry. Maybe it's just me. If that's the case, post your comments and let me know.

On an administrative note, starting Monday, February 6, 2006, this blog will be updated weekly every Monday. That way, you can start your week with some intelligent (hopefully) discussion! :)

--Notta

If I Get The Jamie Foxx Email One More Time...

If I get one more email telling me to support Jamie Foxx's NBC special, I will scream!!! (For those who have not seen the email, it claims that NBC is not promoting Jamie's special because he refused to add white people to his cast.) Yes, I am guilty of it too. When I first received the email, I too passed it along. However, I am also known to forward emails that address political and social concerns as well. I have received the email about Jamie's special at least 8 times in a matter of 1.5 days. I don't think I've ever received the same email that many times in such a short period of time.

Don't get me wrong, I like Jamie Foxx. I like his comedy, his movies, and his music. However, Jamie doesn't make or interpret laws. He doesn't put food on your table. He doesn't provide you with healthcare. He doesn't take care of your kids. So why all the fuss about his NBC special???

It's disconcerting that black folks will mobilize in a major way when it comes to supporting a black entertainer, but fail to mobilize on issues that directly affect us. Mainly, and arguably most importantly, black folks don't vote. Of course there are exceptions to that rule, but for the most part, black people do not vote. We constantly use excuses like, "My vote doesn't count" to deter us from entering the polls on Election Day. We sat idly by in 2004 and watched while Bush was elected into office. We are now feeling the effects of this lackadaisical attitude as another conservative Bush appointment is being confirmed to the U.S. Supreme Court, and as he continues to appoint conservative judges to the federal bench. And as the federal courts continue to address (and possibly strike down) issues that are important to us, such as affirmative action, we will begin feeling the ill effects of our failure to mobilize and vote.

It's not that I'm against black folks supporting black entertainers, quite the contrary is true; however, I don't think we should do it to the exclusion of the issues that are vital to us. I love to see my people demonstrate passion on issues important to them -- the concern is that many times the issues that elicit that passion are of little importance in the big scheme of things.

-- Notta

This is me, Notta Golddigger.