Sunday, July 09, 2006

Why You Gotta Act Like That?

Have you ever been out shopping and come across some black folks who are extremely rude for no reason? Or, have you ever experienced black folks acting like they've never been anywhere before? Fresh off vacation, I came back wondering why some black folks feel the need to be rude and obnoxious to people for absolutely no reason at all.

While I was on vacation, I went shopping in an area where a lot of cruise ships dock -- which brought a large influx of black folks to the area. While in one of the stores, I saw several black folks being loud and obnoxious, and acting rude to both sales associates and other customers. It's really embarrassing to me, because inevitably, people will attribute that behavior to all of us.

For instance, I remember being in Miami some years back. The weekend prior to my being there was Memorial Day weekend, which is a huge "Black" weekend in Miami. I remember getting into cabs and the cab drivers saying things like they couldn't believe I was being nice to them, and they were so happy the Memorial Day weekend festivities had ended because the people were extremely rude to them. Sadly, the cab drivers expected that because I was black, I would be rude to them just like the others were.

Why do some black folks act like they don't have any home training? I don't get it. For whatever reason, I always thought that black folks had more home training than everyone else; but that belief is seriously in question.

Maybe I'm just holding black folks to a higher standard, or maybe some black folks really haven't been anywhere and don't realize their behavior is rude and obnoxious. Either way, it's still embarrassing to me.

--Notta

39 comments:

Notta Golddigger said...

azn like me -- I considered that maybe I was being too harsh on black folks, but then I really had to think about it. When I'm in stores, its usually not the white folks acting ig'nant, it's the black folks. So is what I said really a generalization and a stereotype if it is based on what I've actually experienced?

We all may be created equal, but we are affected differently by the environments in which we are created. Perhaps there is a link between our environments and the reason that some black folks (emphasis on some) tend to exhibit less couth than others.

Either way, I'm always intrigued by a good rebuttal -- so I appreciate your comments!!! :)

--Notta

Anonymous said...

I agree that SOME african american people act in a manner that is less than desirable (with people like Notta comprising the percentage of people that do not behave this way). A large portion of my encounters with such behavior is in the fast food industry. It is particularly troubling that I am often treated as a nuisance instead of a customer. I have even gone out of my way to be nice to african american employees, but am still treated in an unkind manner. And as Notta pointed out, the behavior does not seem to be at all warranted. I would be interested to hear from someone who has a reason or different perspective.

Anonymous said...

It is sad but, I agree.

Sometimes I feel that when I'm out with girfriends. They treat the waiter like crap. They run the hell out of them. Then the first minor slip he makes they can't wait to say they are not going to tip.

When the truth is I feel like they don't have the money to go out in the first place, much less tip.

I really think it boils down to a social economic issue not a race issue. We are just a minority people with a huge social economic disadvantage.

Anonymous said...

I think most of you posting comments don't fully understand black culture.
First of all,we are of African descent.Our attitudes are genetic.Why do you think Hip-Hop is based on Beats?It's not a stereotype,it's Genetics.
Slavery created much of the negative attitudes blacks have.We are only a few generations out of slavery.

Anonymous said...

I think there are a lot of racial differences we don't understand. I'm white, & maybe it shouldn't be my place to post here, but I'll take a chance. I would like to discuss some of the things I don't understand about black people in a civil manner, but am scared that I'll be labeled a racist or even lose my employment. I was waiting on a parking space today, with my blinker on, when a black woman drove around and took it. She clearly saw me waiting. We then had verbal altercations, as she said, "it's only a parking space, get over it," I found myself racially angry at her, & yet it could have as easily been a white or Asian person. I am struggling to understand why I'm angry at skin color versus personal character. I too think maybe socio-economic status has something to do with groups that I view as "loud or obnoxious". Maybe I'm stereotyping people when it's really economics instead of skin color that leads people to act differently. I may see groups of African-American people acting a certain way & I don't understand why, but they could just as well think the same about me. I think all races have people behaving well and not so well. I realize at times I'm not being fair when thinking about racial issues, and I have some unhealthy thinking patterns I need to change. I appreciate you having this blog to help me work through some things - sorry so long.

Joe said...

Hi,
I'm a white guy from California. My comment is that I feel that black people often think white people are goofy and uncool. Now don't get me wrong, we have nerds, but so do all people. Stereotypes give us a general idea of people but don't take into consideration the exception.
I recently befriended a new friend who is black. I see racism come at him all the time. Some Mexicans called him the N-word right in front of me. We walked away! We win!
Anyways, I think that we all exclude our selves from the others too much. Jocks, Goths, Hippies, Nerds, Blacks, Whites, Mexicans, Jews, Christians, Buddhists, Surfers, Artists, People. It's complex. It's good to understand that we all simply ARE different, and that we should still respect each other. That's what makes us American. Let us judge each other on the “content of our character.” Well…that can be hard when we have different moral views, but it's still a good damn idea! Obama carries the torch of M.L. King jr. and it's a heavy burden. I pray for him and his family so that they may guide us all to a better place. Thank you P.S. Fuck prop. 8!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Our biggest problem is, we all havn kids and the daddys dont stick aroun to see there kids first b/day so we all grow up broken from the start we gota brake the sycle

Anonymous said...

I'm a student at SFSU and I was at a student mixer hosted at Jack Adams Hall yesterday. Three blacks students from the Black Student Union performed a 'dance' that was basically them acting and screeching like monkeys. I don't understand why these students want to ingrain stereotypes (like what was stated above)when it ultimately undermines their own position in society.

Anonymous said...

i am a black person and i am not rude i am a very kind and good person. i dont go around in the stores being rude or yelling at people. to me it sounds like your saying that alll black people aare rude but that isnt true. my whole family are very very kind. and not RUDE. i think that your being harsh and mean and should change some of the stuff to some instead of they.....

Anonymous said...

I am a white male who was in the food service business for about 30 years. I would have to say that black people tend to be the rudest and cheapest customers. I also realize that they are not the only group of people who are difficult to deal with. I don't understand the lack of respect people have for foodservers in restaurants. They work so hard, make minimum wage and pay taxes based on sales, whether they get tipped or not. If you can't afford to tip, don't go to a restaurant! By the way, a standard tip is 15-20 percent.

Anonymous said...

I understand completely that in African American culture, being rude and obnoxious is cool. Just because you are African American doesn't mean you have to be rude and obnoxious. It's your choice. We can justify the behavior all we want, but excusing it insults the intelligence of everyone with black skin.

Anonymous said...

I think this country made a big mistake with the freedoms it gave people. We have this liberal delusional mentality that because we are "human beings" we should be able to be put in the same "play pens" and co exist. This is so far from the truth...Can we put foxes and sheep in a playpen and expect them to coexist because they are"mammals?" Multicultural society is a failed concept. I consider this apathy toward society by blacks to be appalling...They truly are animalistic in every way and form, and you can not try to brush this off, when you see the same behavior patterns in almost every region of the world by them. There is def something wrong here, and it is something that more and more people are begining to ponder and question...

Anonymous said...

I just moved into a new apartment, its mixed between white people, spanish people and black people. Well who do you later wandering around all day not doing anything? The Blacks! Who always comes up to me to ask for a cigarette or a dollar? The Blacks! I can't even go out on my balcony and smoke a cigarette w/out a nigga coming and bothering me talking about there shitty ghetto way of life which nobody is forcing them to live. These condos are individually owned so I guess some of the owners started renting to section 8. I mean there's a recreation here and they go in and leave the lights on, holes in the walls now. It's sad to say but anywhere you have niggas everything gets fucked up! It's stereotyping, its a FACT! They don't work, collect Government money and just act like animals. They want to bitch about Slavery which nobody these days owned slaves but if they were smart they would of never been slaves and all of them still deny they were sold into slaves by their own people. I have no sympathy for them, I have no high school diploma but I work and don't use Government at all. I'm sick of this shit!

Anonymous said...

It's genetics, makes us all act different, controls our chemical processes, our brain activity, our hyperactivity specifically. That hyperactivity is interpreted socially. Frontal lobe size/development (brain) MAY also be too small for some, this is the area where pre-meditated thinking happens, anticipatory thoughts happen here. Economic status definitely changes the environment a Black American develops in, it affects the appreciation of things, values, possessions; this affects moral development vastly, or should I say moral suppression. Since some don't have so much to own due to economic status, their egos (their most valuable possession) identify themselves with the intangible, meaning: when they can't get a hold of other physical possessions, their brain gets bored and finds somethings else to control, social control, they dominate it, to make up for their lack of control in the physical realm, reality. Their actions mirror a desperate attempt in making an impression, an impression that their in control, by speaking louder than others, talking more than others, to them thats being in control, when the truth is, they've really lost ALL control in the attempt.

milkandhoney said...

One thing that bothers me as an African-American female is to see other folks in my race speak harshly about others. We as a people, have progressed to classism. It is no longer about US as a race, but we are now divided by the color green. I see from your profile that you are an educated woman with a great profession. I don't understand why you, and other educated black folks don't follow the W.E.B. Dubois's standard. Educated black folks, go back and enlightened your own. I find that when I have conversations with these "loud and rude" black folks that you speak of, they are very receptive when I treat them with respect and talk them about things that will enlightened their minds and enrich their lives. When we have open discussions about these "loud and rude" black folks, we find that it is not productive because these same folks we are talking about probably do not have internet, and if they did, they would not be on this site. Now, what is productive, is a site where we can have this conversations, and then come up with solutions.

Anonymous said...

I think you're totally right about most black people. And then to consider the black people that come on here and try to act like your being some outrageous racist, because they 'claim' they are not loud themselves, please...do you really think any of those loud and obnoxious black people think they are obnoxious? no. They don't understand what is wrong with their behavior, which is why they are doing it! Not to say that I am a racist or hate blacks, but you can't deny they overwhelming experience from a massive majority of people who say that they have an experienced black people acting in this fashion. It's not a stereotype anymore, it's an experience now.--why do they do it? I don't know, maybe it's cultural, maybe it's something else. I'm not a scientist, but I can put 2 and 2 together when I see that everybody else is having the same experience..i mean really, lets not lie to ourselves now...--my theory is that blacks are more aggressive than other people probably because of brain structure, just like how males are more aggressive than females, because of brain structure. It's very logical and possible, everybody is unique.

Anonymous said...

"There is a physical difference between the white and black races which, I believe, will forever forbid the two races from living together on terms of social and political equality"-Thomas Jefferson.

Jbizzle said...

Currently having to deal with living in the "poor" dorm at my college, other black guys on both sides of me, and they all blast obnoxious "nigger" music 24/7 (like right now), and "chat" outside at 2am loudly enough that I can hear them from my bed in more detail than I'd like. I'm aggravated that I'm looked at as if I'm just like all the savage monkeys that all the other "brothers" are on campus: rude fried chicken loving wastes of space. So yeah, spot on, rude is like chicken and watermelon, just natural and cool for our culture. I'm sick of this "nigger" shit too. Being ghetto makes it all worse, to the point where I'm starting to believe in the stereo types myself, and consider myself lucky I didn't end up with the "black gene" or whatever makes people act like they're stupid.

Anonymous said...

I think everyone has good points here. I come from a rural area in IL, there aren't a whole lot of black people around. I know a few who are hard working, respectful and courteous. The fact that they're black is no longer noticed by me because it doesn't matter.
They pay me the respect that 1 person should always pay another person regardless of race.
I have noticed though that when you get several black females together in a situation where they're enjoying themselves they become very loud and obnoxious. They make fun of people for ANY reason, they yell to each other from across the building, they loudly make inappropriate comments paying no mind that there are other people and children present. They leave a large mess for someone else to clean up, and if you look at them you become the target of this behavior.
It's as if they think that the whole world owes them something so they have the right to act however they want and nobody better try to stop them or the obnoxious sass will only intensify.

Anonymous said...

I do not understand why black people act and talk the way most of them do.

Occasionally, I met a black person that is the most wonderful speciman of a human being that there is.

Blacks need to pull up their pants, talk proper english, and get a job. My black friends tell me they are accused of trying to be "white" because they are responsible human beings.

Understand, if you are on welfare and live in apartments which are crime ridden, I would be unhappy too. So, do something about your situation rather than take it out on others.

Anonymous said...

sqrewz me you gotta leave.. obama. we loud act crazy cuz its fun. white p cant cus dey afraid, well we aint! leave ya'll u gotta go! black p takin ova da world. sqrewz me sqrewz me sqrewz me. thank u money from the state. i never have to work buy food gas liqour pay bills taxes rent pay fo school. gimme gimme gimme suckaz. and we be makin country broke. ha ha

Anonymous said...

i think its a terrible parthide that people think african americans are lazy unrefined people. we have to be sympathetic and allow them to develop and help them blend into society, it must be difficult when your different. if we help them become educated, well mannered, evolved citezens, we will all be better for it. we just havent been trying hard enough. having said that we must teach them the value of working and get them off government aid

Anonymous said...

what can anyone say about black people except for they took every opportunity black and white civil rights leaders and people who changed minds gave them,and they peed all over them!!

I cannot understand black woman brawling like men in the streets,at restraunts,movie theaters,on trains or at the malls.No wonder black men dont want anything to do with them????

Anonymous said...

i totally understand! i live in a town where there are very very few black people and evverytime i walk in somewhere or go to a friends house for the first time i get looked at like omg shes black is she goning to be rude and aggressive. then they realized that i dont talk like african american people and that i was polite and respectuful with people. and i hate having viewed that way but there isnt really anytnhing i can do besides prove them wrong. it helps that other people see it that way too.

Murphy said...

I'm sorry Azn, but she is not being too harsh. You want to know how I found this blog? I just typed the word "Why" into Google. Guess what automatically brought up as the first?.... "why are black people loud and obnoxious". I love my people but "we" have a problem and "we" need to address it. and not be mad because other people know we have a problem.

Anonymous said...

Let me start off to say i am a white highschool male. I am not racist, my best friend is black... Now with that being said.... I observe blacks being obnoxious all the time. Some African Americans will be extremely loud, make fun of people, sleep in class, and even fight in school. I feel like they all want to be someone,but were not raised in a way in which they know how to properly

Anonymous said...

There are many reasons why people behave in a rude manner.

1. Sadistic tendencies

2. Hatred of others

3. Compensation for Inferiortty complex

4. Feelings of superiority

5. Vengeance for past wrongs

6. Racism

7. Extreme anti immigrant mentality

based on a warped Sense of

patriotic duty

9. Psycohlogical predatory
tendencies


All these can be culturally based-true. But that doesn't make the effect they have on the victims any less painful or any mre justified.

If indeed a person notices that he is mistreated by a certain group of a certain appearance more than he is by any other group then the natural reaction is to fear or dislike such a group.

Telling the person to just ratioinalize it away as merely a social phenomenon doesn't diminish the pain of being victimized. All it does is encourage the perpetrators to continue enjoying themselves at other people's expense.

Anonymous said...

To all of the above, I will agree that our people,black people, have gotten out of control. I tried to ignore it, and I was one of these, so called "ignant" as you would say people. I was brought up in Newport News, Va. and let me tell you, it doesn't get any worst than that. Anyway,I've completely changed my ways and now I looking from the outside I see the author's point of view. I will say, he is 70% right. Forget the (everyones an animal) gesture. I will only tell you that of all my
assaults to friends of mine, shootings and killings of love ones, robberies, purse snatching and the list can go on. It's been 100 percent black around my presence. Being it from Texas to Virginia and everywhere I've been. I've lost for words at our people. This is called " a bad spirit" and it's wreaking havoc amoungst our people. If you don't believe me, Oh well,cause it's the truth. It's call materialism, oppresionalism, lazism, don't carism and fastism (too much sex) in our communities.
Like W.E.B. Dubois once said, it's the 90% which today that number's moved down to around 88%, then it's the 12% and out of the 12%, half them don't give a %*&#@. For one, stop playing around so much,2.
stop prejudging people for what clothes (or) what kind of shoes they have, 3. stop being so (bleeping) selfish. Black people, we are in a world of hurt. If we keep acting the way we do (some black women think its funny),then
we're going to end up back on the
stand to be sold back to our masters. Think it won't happen, your a fool!

Anonymous said...

I totally agree..

Anonymous said...

Black and whites don't mix. Not even black guys like black women. That's why you see a black man with a white girl.Those. black men understand tokeep it cool if you want to blend in with the white girl folks in the nice areas.
JR. NewPortBeach CA

Anonymous said...

Lots of people on here finding a reason to excuse bad behavior. "oh, it was how they were raised' or "they just don't know any better". I don't care about excuses. If you want to be treated well and as an equal, you act like the people you want to be accepted by.
Even a child can figure that out. Enough excuses people!Start showing results!

Cindy said...

This is a complicated issue, always has been. I'd like to state, for the record, that I am a white gal who grew up in an all-white town (in the northeast, not down south like you may be thinking). My experience has always been that a-holes come in all shapes, sizes AND colors. We had no lack of rude or ignorant people in my small hometown. White people, mind you. If someone is rude, it's because he or she is a rude person. That person isn't rude because he or she is of a particular race.

Unknown said...

I'm going to be real here. I'm a white guy. I found this article because my experiences with some african american people have been very undesirable. I'm not bashing african americans because of the pigment in their skin, but speaking rather from firsthand experience. I live with a black man and he acts like a selfish, ignorant, obnoxious, inconsiderate bastard. He claims to have been raised to have a different set of values but frankly, I doubt it. My pops taught me that all men are created equal and that we should respect our neighbors and treat them with consideration and good will, but something the article author said struck me: "All men are created equal but the environments they are created in are not." Good post man, I have faith in the black man and hope that some day when I think "obnoxious people" it wont be this bastard I live with.

Anonymous said...

Fml, I've got your back. I have seen this against Asians. I think they're jealous of Asians' tenacity in achievement. Yes, I'm generalizing because it's a fact.

Anonymous said...

"...then we're going to end up back on the stand to be sold back to our masters. Think it won't happen, your a fool!"

Sorry, sir. But you are full of shit. Black people aren't being "enslaved" by ANYONE in America anymore, and YOU and any other black person born after the turn of the fucking century HAVE NEVER BEEN ENSLAVED. Also, I don't give a fuck about your ancestors because they are dead and gone as are the white slave owners- you don't get to cry racist b/c your grandpappy was a slave. Take some fucking responsibility for your own shit. Trust me, some bleeeding heart liberals pretend to cry over american slavery, but it's a b.s. political move. Sorry buddy, the media has made you think whites CAYRE about your dumb shit, but the truth is everyone knows you are just using the race card cause it's easier than taking responsibility for yourself since no one HAS OPPRESSED YOU BUDDY.

So, there is no need to fearmonger about how the eeeebbiiill white man is gonna re-enslave you - blacks have no problem getting themselves locked away on their own these days. The only enslavement of black people is by themselves when they act out violently and land their ass in prison. Then of course they aren't in jail cause they raped or killed someone but because the WHITE MAN IS RAY_CIST. Poor, poor dears!

Anonymous said...

Slavery has been diminished for many decades, so no one can longer use that card. A 20-year-old African-American cannot blame the way they are based off of something that happened well over 100 years ago. You just have a shitty attitude, because you chose to.

Anonymous said...

So I married black and had black kids and thank God my kids are good. Ignorance isn't genetic it is learned. That being said I am quite surprised at my own racism. I always defended the black race and at my own expense. Now that I have learned that my fiance was murdered by some New Orleans junkie scumbags because he 'wasn't black' and so they could pay for more heroin, I must say my only concern for the black race is my own kids. I cannot even tell them I feel horrible for making them black. I feel sorry for them and I am scared that they resemble people that resemble animals in the worst ways. I am sad that their peers beat up people for fun and think that dealing drugs is a 'respectable profession'. I am sad that they are of a race that consider race wars when, a.)They would be wiped off the face of the Earth and b.) as of now they are on the wrong side for many reasons besides being losers' side. I am sad and sorry for doing that to a human being, much my own kids. I know all black people aren't bad, but so many are so bad that it makes it very hard to find even the smallest amount of compassion for the few people of a minority race that justifies the harm that they do to all of American society. Even Africans call our black people monkeys. The most genocidal people in the world today and they can't condone the actions of their distant kin because it is so repulsive. How is anyone else supposed to think there could be hope for a people such as this?

Anonymous said...

Slavery ended over a hundred years ago, but the aftermath still exists. So maybe that is part of the blame.

Anonymous said...

I think this is a very interesting blog because I notice differences and offences between blacks and whites consistently. I didn't notice it as a child but as a grew older I found black people seeming offended at little things I did. I do think in much of black culture being rude to one another and having a tough skin is normal and "cool."